Sad to say I am one of them. I did not always feel this way, but the last I would say six years of life with my daughter have been so difficult that now I look forward to the day when I can send her on her way. Birth through year one was difficult with colic, but once that was over we were good with only minor issues only until about age seven. Then the issues really took off and have gotten progressively worse, so that I sit here months shy of her thirteenth birthday and count the years until I can finally breathe.

First of all let me preface this by saying that until you walk in a parents shoes you never know the whole story, so please hold back judgment of me and others that struggle with this feeling daily. You have no clue what they may have gone through or continue to go through on a daily basis with their child. Not everything is the fault of the parent contrary to popular belief. If you are a parent of a child with behavioral, mental health issues, or anything else that causes you daily stress I sympathize with you as I am right there with you. The jealousy you feel when you hear other parents speak of their well behaved children and the relationships they have with them. The anger and frustration you feel when you think of what you struggle with daily with your children. The embarrassment you feel when you KNOW those who have no clue look at you and must be thinking " why cant you control your child" "what kind of parent is this person" I am right there my friend. Parents of seemingly "normal " children just don't get it. They may act sympathetic but they just don't get it.
They have no clue what its like to worry everyday whether you will get a phone call from school, law enforcement or anyone else because of something their child does. They have no clue the kind of stress it puts on everyone in the family because of one member of the household.  They have no idea what its like to walk on eggshells daily and to never be able to calm down EVER because the next issue is right around the corner, and every time you have ever let your guard down and its quiet for too long your peace is shattered. They have no clue what it is like being perpetually "grounded" yourself because that is what happens when your problem child is grounded. You as the parent are punished for their actions and there is not much you can do about it. They have no clue the shame we feel when we are told of the things our kids do. No they do not they also do not know of the constant struggle to get them the help they need. The weekly appointments with counselors, and  Psychiatrists, the med changes, the constant trial and errors that may work for a week or two at best. They have no clue that we are trying all we can to help our kids with little to no support. That we as the parents want to have a "good child" more than anything in the world. We want to have "normal" childhood issues to over come not what we do have ,which is daily stress, panic, fear, pain, feelings of inadequacy and helplessness that we have to deal with on a daily basis.

Parents people can only deal so much before they just go onto autopilot and try to cope with life the best we can, but this is not a solution.. This has caused me personally to shut down and become a shell of a person. A person who has had to put the needs of the rest of her family and herself on the back burner and it kills me. I haven't blogged regularly because I just am numb. I am so mentally and physically tired. I have a job, school, a son, and a husband to take care of in addition to my daughter. My husband is gone 90% of the time with work so it almost all falls on my shoulders. I want to get myself some time to talk to a counselor but in absolute fact I have no time. Between all that I have on my plate for everyone else I am lucky I have time to do what I already am. I feel such shame that my life is the way that it is. I feel such anger that I feel the way I do but they are my feelings after years of problems. I feel scared too that what is happening now will negatively impact my son and his behavior. He is already becoming a defiant kid and this scars me. I don't want to have to go through this with him as well. The point of my post is to say, you cant possibly know everything about those around you.

Those with problems may be doing all they can to help themselves and the ones that need help. We may look like we are coping well but we are probably dieing inside. The guilt is the worst of it. No parent wants to admit that they have a less than perfect child, but some of us do and it may be of  little fault of our own. Please you don't have to know what we struggle with daily but we are hard enough on ourselves without the judgment of others who haven't a clue what we are dealing with.