Not too much to report. I got my first call from the mortgage company way earlier than I was expecting though. The payment was not even considered late until the 15th of the month so imagine my surprise to receive a call on the evening of January 5th! It was quick, yet it seemed to go on forever. I was asked if I had forgotten to make my payment and my reply was no I hadn't forgotten, but had hired an attorney in this matter. There was a long pause at which time I offered the caller the contact information and stated all communication needed to go through the attorney. The caller took the information and that was that. I am rather surprised at how calm I was being that I was not expecting them to call before the payment was even late! I still wonder why they did call so early on. My husband thinks I set off some radar as we always paid earlier than the due date, but hey they also started charging $5.00 to make a payment online about two months ago, so they need to expect that there will be more people who chose to drop a check in the mail now and we cannot control the speed of delivery. I mean really online payments and the fees that are charged are the cost of business, so pass that on to customers and expect a backlash.


Anyway we are coming up on month two without a payment. I feel so weird living here without paying but I look at it as trying to recover some of the cost of things we did to our home out of pocket that we cannot take with us. New A/C unit (this house never had one so it was the cost to actually wire it and the unit) new heat pump, all new electrical and new line drop after a botched roof job send a piece of our aluminum porch into the power drop (that we paid for all of pocket again because our insurance claimed we didn't have a code addendum (something that was never offered by nor even know they had by our policy selling agent) new gas line for a dryer as the previous owners never owned a dryer. All new lighting fixtures every one in this home replaced, landscaping......etc all things that we cannot take with us that have benefited this house and the next owner. I figure the cost is about $25,000 or more out of pocket so if I can get get even 6 months of payments which will not even cover a bit of what we paid then so be it. I already lost my butt on this house badly, I need to get something back after losing it all and taking the massive credit hit that is to come.

I still continue to take it one day at a time and expect a letter of default soon. I just keep trucking along and try to keep my emotions in check, as that is what the banks want us to do to fold in on ourselves. I refuse. I will continue to look at this as a business choice until the day comes where it is all said and done and then I will allow myself to grieve for the loss of my house and the dreams I had for us/it. Ill say it again as kind of an affirmation to myself that we will survive, and we are definitely not the only ones who have made this choice or who will make this choice. I will not gauge my worth by useless numbers, nor will I allow myself to feel guilty. Sure I bought this house but I did not cause the mess this country is in. All I can do is make the choices that I need to be able to get back on my feet and live, not just survive.